i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
