hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Randomize
