I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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