Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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