I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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