bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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