Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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