If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
