her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need to calm my uterus...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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