I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize