Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
