Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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