Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
