this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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