then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
