It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
