Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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