wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
