In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
