Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
