DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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