Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
