His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize