More tranny stories later!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
