Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
