Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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