Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
