whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
