so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
