those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
