Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
