She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
