when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
