i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
