I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
