my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize