I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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