how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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