Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
