who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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