god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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