come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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