Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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