I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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