Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
