Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
