Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
