I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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