Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
