So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
