you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize