i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
