some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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