All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
