wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
