I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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