He kissed a someone with a penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
