All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
