I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
