As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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