He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
